HotActorz4Mi's Xanga

youchoob.

Thu, 08 May 2008 01:40:59 GMT

youtube is a crutch.
i am always on it.
i am always waiting for new videos.
i am always talking about it.
and i am always thinking of new ideas for videos.

how did i become so addicted.
and how in the hell did i become bff's with a kid on there?

BLEGH.

i love it

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:50:50 GMT

so i'm sick
but it's okay
because i was featured on benloka's channel on youtube
he's so famous on there
so i'm pretty much ecstatic.

WATCHIT.

ricky and nikki came into my homeroom today
i was doing homework
they looked at furbies
and i looked at western civ homework.
i love saying their names together.

dear interwebz;

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 23:25:10 GMT

I really like this boy. He's cute and he talks to me. Allyson say's I'm in love. I don't think so. But what if I am? I think about him all the time and I get those fat-ass butterflies in my tummy whenever I do think about him. I don't want to think I am in love because if I am, then I've just put myself out there, and I don't really want to be there. I want to be able to hide in myself if something wrong happens.

Why do I torture myself with him. He's a flirt. But he's so goddamn amazing!

I am having a fake relationship with Dean. It's amazing.
Kevin White is hot and his type is Asian-American. Yay me, ftwz!

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 19:38:45 GMT

and somehow, i've learned to let it go. very quickly, but in the end, there really wasn't anything i could do to stop what was going on. so i guess i just immersed myself in all things that could distract me from all the shit that went down this week. i feel like i got fucked over though. I just wish that it didn't end up that way. at least I ended the week positively.
I'm getting a new guitar
I talked to the guy I like (and yeh, the chance is most definitely there)
No Lacrosse game on friday

but my great uncle's memorial service was today. and that was really sad. I could just hear the sadness in my mom's voice, and it was horrible. I heard the sadness in my grandma's voice on the phone, and in my mom's voice. It's heart breaking, but there's nothing any of us can do to bring Uncle Seb back.

"we'll cut our bodies free
from the tethers of this scene
start a brand new colony
where everything will change."
-Brand New Colony, The Postal Service

ps-the grammar in this entry was horrendous.

How 8 words can change you life.

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 19:54:47 GMT

Maybe a year ago or so, I wrote on here the following:

"today i decided
that if i cant have it.
then neither should she.
but then again. that's just selfish."

I never thought that I would think this again. But God, 8 words can change your life in less than a minute. It sucks, because you think that you're over things, and then someone says those 8 little words and BAM you're spun out of control. And it doesn't even have to directly involve you to change you life. But when it does change your life, you question things that you thought about yesterday and things you never thought were gonna come true. Because they do, and it sucks so much that you can even begin to comprehend what's going on. I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. But when things you think can't come true do come true, things become completely wrong. And, to quote and book quoting a poem, when you decided to "disturb the universe" you affect people and you tear relations.

I'll leave you with a quote from a song that holds so true right now.
"Your best friends are the worst liars"
-Encore Encore! by Backseat Goodbye.

Emily

Creative Genius? I Think Not.

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 00:57:47 GMT

Do you get over your first love? I don't know. Because I feel that you can, but it's so hard. I think it takes someone really strong to get over that person. Which makes me wonder if I am really strong enough to get over someone. Because I know in times of weakness I'm known to break down. I don't know, I'm just being cynical. Maybe I've just got this notion that things will work out in the end. But there are so many cases where things don't work out, and it doesn't make me feel any better. Maybe I'm just a pessimist, but things never work out.
Ha, now I've got myself pegged as a pessimist.
I'm gonna start writing again. Because when I would write, it was a creative outlet or me. Playing guitar is a creative outlet, and so is singing and all that crap I do, but I feel like nothing ever comes out right when I do that. Writing was the one thing I could do well from myself. I guess I'm better forming sentences that I am at forming verses and chorus's. All my songs end up sounding like corny love songs. But I do like that one song I wrote a year ago, called My Dearest David. Lizzi did point out that it sounds like I'm dating my father, but It was the only name I could think of.

I'll leave you with lyrics.

My Dearest David

my dearest david
will we talk today
it seems like your living
a thousand miles away
though you only live 2
i cant show you how
i’m sorry for what i’ve done
right here and right now

my dearest david
you havn’t said a word
your living a lie
and you shouldn’t be heard
so while we’re here
i have something to say
but before i can speak
you’ve pushed me away

my dearest david
i don’t understand
how you can hurt me so much
and still bear to stand
but whatever you’ve done
it puts me in view
i thought that you hurt me
but maybe i hurt you

my dearest david
redemption is sweet
like a kiss on the lips
or nights of summer heat
but my dearest boy
your patience wont hold
when you walk away
the summer grows cold

my dearest david
we were the two
supposed to withstand
our whole years through
you were my first
i wasn’t your last
you just need to know
you’re not part of my past

blegh. i am sick sick sick.

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 21:22:37 GMT

3 weeks into school. and I have not completed a full week
here is a schedule feedback.

First Block-
[day a] math.
it's pretty sweet. i like ms. katz. she's super nice
i just gotta remember to stay awake..=]
[day b] science.
ms. neal is super cool. she makes science smile.
again. gotta get some caffine in me before this class

Homeroom-
Mr. Hoffman is crazy. I only have one thing to say:
"GODDAMN YOU BERNICE!**"

Second Block-
[day a] english.
ms. grady is a complete sweetheart. she's amazing
i mean, we watched southpark today. this is a good classss.
[day b] western civ.
mrs. jackson is a really good teacher. and i'm learning a lot
oh wait. she's in greece right now. but whatever. it's cool.

Third Block-
history of popular music.
bahaha. this class is hilarious. i actually understand it.
and then there are the muscial retardeds who don't get anything.
i have an edge. and guess the what.
mrs. bobnack enjoys talking about sex. hahahah!

Fourth Block-
[day a] chorus-
i'm singing a lot. and it's taking a tole on me.
bobnack is really strict. but i'm getting through it.
[day b] band-
i kinda love band. i know a LOT more about music from comp band.
it's so much easier for me. and i know a lot of people.
ps-whitcomb's un-funny jokes are a little hilarious.

i kinda enjoy school. except i got sick today. so ew.
**qouted from dodgeball: and underdog story**

so...

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 01:29:56 GMT

what do
25% jewish
50% white
25% filipino
babies look like?

the world may never know.

my reason's for waking up in the morning

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 19:49:14 GMT

1) Music- if i get up in the morning, i have the energy to go to shows. and listen to albums.
2) Sleep- waking up just motivates me to sleep later on...woooooo
3) People- when i'm all woken up, i can go meet more people
4) Friends- people i love make me want to get up
5) Another chance- waking up lets me have another chance at the day, or at...well. you should know by now.

i just jizzed a little

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 18:43:18 GMT

he's not harry potter anymore.